Nurturing Yourself Through the Holidays: A Challenge to Prioritize Self-Care

This time of year, our efforts to make the people in our lives feel loved can easily muffle the sound of our own needs amid the blaring hustle and bustle of the holiday season. NOT ON MY WATCH! I’m here to check in and help you keep the warmth of your self-care fire budding and burning through the holidays.

Have you been saying yes when you know your lips should have formed a no, my love? Yeah, we’ve all been there. This year, I want to challenge you to listen to what your emotions are trying to communicate to you. There’s a reason your back hurts every year you attend family dinner, and it’s not because your Aunt refuses to throw out those broken dining room chairs from 1963. Sit with your feelings, embrace them, and hear what they are saying.

Emotions are the communication system of our body and the care board for our soul. When we don’t allow ourselves to acknowledge or process our emotions, they show up in our bodies in other ways or even develop into a secondary emotion like anger to try to protect you and alert you. I heard an influencer recently say, “If they could not speak, would their actions make you feel loved?” So I ask you: Does forcing yourself to return to the scene of familial trauma make you feel loved? Making yourself hug that adult who gave you the ick growing up because “You’re going to make Mr. Johnson sad”—does that make you feel loved? These are specific examples, but think about the times you were forced to engage in some way and how that made you feel afterward. Let your “no” be your protector this season and your “yes to self” be an opportunity to explore any feelings that come up around this time of year.

I personally didn’t grow up with a typical holiday season flow, but one thing I understand from observing others and participating is that most people enjoy the holidays because it is the one time of year when our culture doesn’t focus on individuality. Instead, we prioritize making others feel seen and connected through our actions. We take the time to pour into each other, mostly through monetary means. However, there are so many other ways to show people that you see them and care. This means there are lots of avenues to give yourself the opportunity to feel seen, connected, and safe. There is community for everyone.

"We’re not always born into our forever families—sometimes we get the honor of building them from scratch."

With Friendsgiving being a widely accepted alternative to the traditional Thanksgiving gathering, I hope you know that you can find community and connection during the holidays in new ways, not just through blood family. For example, you can attend local or virtual social group gatherings that spark your flame. I love Old Fashioneds, so I recently signed myself up to take a cocktail class where Old Fashioneds are the focal drink, here in my new city. Attending this class gives me an opportunity to connect with others who share a similar interest in some way, and because it is very specific to my likes, it allows me to feel “seen.” Just because there is one way that most people are doing something, doesn’t make it the right choice for you. Find your options and flow where you grow.

Which leads me to my second challenge to you, dear reader: I task you with giving yourself one gift this holiday season. The only rule is that the gift has to have meaning to YOU and bring YOU the joy you wish for others this holiday season. It can be setting your phone on DND for a day or putting money aside to save for the trip you’ve been wanting to take. Whatever it may be, just remember that this holiday season, we are only engaging in choices that feel good to our physical and emotional bodies—denying all else or finding alternatives—and taking the time to reflect on our emotions as we continue to grow and learn the best way to care for ourselves.

So, what logs are you adding to keep your self-care flame burning this holiday season? I’d love to know.

Your Sister in Authenticity,

Chakra Chon

P.S. Here is my gift to the introverted girlies like me: Go and be free in community. introvertedgirlfriends.com

😉 You’re welcome